Well, Isis found me on Instagram. She said she created Seth. I keep getting an Egyptian theme. I used to imagine the golden rings on my cat's tail. My black cat, Loka, looks like he's Egyptian, so thin and sleek, with a narrow face. I think I had the same parents as I did when I was an Egyptian, Geb and Nubt. It was predicted that our old injuries from past lives would bother us around Thanksgiving, well, I pulled my arm where I have my orion's belt marking, and before that I had a swollen jaw, which I think were injuries from Geb. He really was the only man that could beat my ass, at least that I recall. Lol, says my personality Saturn. Well anyway. I'm browsing Christmas presents, I totally forgot to get my mom a Birthday Present...Whoops. I guess I'm going to get her X-mas Pjs that say "Holiday Squad" and an Onyx Jewelry box. I feel it will have an effect on her. Onyx shows who someone really is. I want to know, lol. Is this witch craft? Its vintage, and has clawed feet. She makes comments about us being in a cult, well, she did one day. If we had matching dresses. My dresses look like my ex wives, nepthys or Tawarets I think so anyway. Im asking Isis about it.... She was trying to help me with the ancient vampire energies in the modern world, I mean I wonder what's wrong with me, all black everything, widows peak, craving blood and liking blood, the 'witch' tooth, needing energy. Im so glad she has returned into my life. She claims that she is in Mkultra too. The voices said "enslave the Egyptians" so they must be our enemies? I just told her they said that. They had a boastful moment, so Im telling my sister. Im poor, so if they're not my mom or not going to get as much enjoyment out of the gift as it's gonna break the bank, they're not getting one.
4:46
Your golden number is 4, your lucky number par excellence. Use the number 4 as often as you can: for example, when you set up an important meeting, insist on the 4th day of the month, or 4 o'clock in the afternoon; when you take a train, get in the 4th car. Use it whenever you play games etc.
If you have premonitory dreams - and you should! - 5 is your most auspicious number. It's also lucky for travel and in financial matters.
And 13, your number for happiness, can also be used to combat misfortune.
Use a combination of these three numbers as often as you can. Luck will do many things for you, and your intuition will do the rest.
Here is some important advice that might help you: persevere in your intimacy, don't let just anyone into your private life, never discuss your problems with anyone you don't completely trust, and make sure the people around you leave you in peace as far as your affairs of the heart are concerned, since they concern only you.
Sorry if I was abrasive in any way. Or if any of this was strange. We've disclosed to one another we ended up in the opposite sex body. Lol. I dreamed they were summoning my Roleplaying character to save the world. Bahahaha. That'd be something. He's kinda gangsta. Anyway. Seriously. How are you doing? With this Corona virus and everything? You're starting to seem familiar now. I haven't caught it, but my mom did. It was scary. It could be years until the world is back to normal. I was wondering if you had any information about that? My mom is feeding into the Christian beliefs, she thinks Biden is the anti christ. I forgot where you're located. I'm in the South of Usa. Geb/My dad dreamed that the world was ending. And every time I get a little high, I think the same exact thing, and freak out, and concerned. :/ sorry sorry sorry for talking so much. I'm so alone with my schizophrenia. It makes people think I'm some serial killer psycho. I'm just like everyone else. Very lonely, and I know the truth about my illness, and I just want someone to talk to. Just like everyone else, I read in the bible of a Princess that got stripped of all her royal fashions, and well, I imagined that was happening to me. But I feel I'll be a Prince again. I just had to learn the hard way without all of that stuff.
I waited from 8:30-9 o'clock, to about 12, then my attorney told me we were waiting for a psychiatrist to get there. And she wasn't there by 12, so we broke for lunch. Mom took me to McDonald's, and bought me lunch, and I found two pennies on the ground. I asked Mom what the two pennies meant. She (later) sent me an article that they were "pennies from Heaven", that my deceased loved ones or angels were trying to get my attention.
Since Halloween, I had been thinking of mom's mom, "MawMaw" and Uncle Joe, and also Grandma. We have just lost Granny this year. She passed away in June, 6 days after my birthday. Instead of being bitter, I am glad she waited to pass til after my birthday. I miss her so much. She would've been the first person I would've called after court.
It seemed kind of suspicious, because the judge was talking to my attorney, the woman doing roll call, and another lady, and he said that I was "incompetent." I have Schizophrenia, I'm not going to sound like you, or anyone. I'm an Individual. Recently, I found out my birth date equals "11" in Numerology, and so does my name. That seems very special! A birthday book told me I was "special." What if you were actually told you were 'special?' Well, I was. I feel I glow, vibrantly.
The psychiatrist talked to me, and she reviewed my medications with me, and I told her what had been started, discontinued, and doses changed. I had told my attorney earlier that my voices told me I was Joker -- .. so I thought I was Joker. My mom thinks some of my alters are dangerous. Well, I do know that I am self destructive. I told the woman about my DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and she listened. From Facebook, I learned there were other women, with a "Joker" MALE alter. I learned I had DID because I have a soldier alter. I then remembered that I had requested help from an institution at 22, and 24, years of age, and they did not offer me any help for my DID. Or even a diagnosis, a test, anything! I want to be "honest" so I can get the help I need. Hear me out, because my doctor has me on like 9 different medications. I believe I am gaining too much weight.
Issued another subpoena, the psychiatrist asked for my mom's phone number, and my number and email. I gave them to her, and she said that she would contact us. I told my attorney that I had really needed to vent, and said that my mom was not "intellectually capable" of understanding me, and my dad, had nearly been a genius. His teacher said so. Granny had told me. His teacher said, "Now I'm not going to tell you your son is a genius, but he has above average intelligence." My mom is more practical, and worldly; she doesn't like reading
Mom and I went to work, and we were told that Walmart is bad right now, during Covid, that people were being carjacked and purses stolen. It pisses me off that women are being victims right now. I hurt my back at work, but I had some Ibuprofen ... and I took that, and vacuumed the floors and dusted.. Oh well. But I know I am something, not nothing. And I'm not crazy because I have pepper sprayed a man. He was on MY property, banging on MY door, using intimidation tactics to try to MAKE ME answer the door. I want this to be KNOWN. I was withdrawing from medication from a Dr who had canceled seeing me, and didn't give me a referral, and so I was running out of pills during this time.
I could have *died* -- and the man was in pain from the pepper spray, for what, five minutes?
There’s no need for you to suffer from the uncertainties of the future. Angel number 644 means that you live everything to your angels. After all, they are in your life for a reason. However, the angels want you to know that you have an important part to play in your life.
Well-- we are having a plague.
Wearing camo pants, and a tank top.... spaghetti strap..whatever..black.. I am so fucking tired. I don't think I could sleep enough. God, please get me off some of this medicine. :( It's built up in my system.
Trying to go off with Sarah, to get away from Repairmen.
11:33
I hear Tawaret. <3
I need to open that save on FB.
"Mom, I am sorry for everything I put you through."
I'm feeling really sad, and like I'm in an exhibit, and like I want to die, but I'm not going to do anything.
I'm feeling so so depressed, I used to self harm, well I have had to live in this body. Thank you Michael. My handler is helping me.
Lol I often say my Mom is Pocohontas, so much Indian, and the song "Colors of the Wind" just came on--
I do feel like Helen is wanting us all to act like Saints. I kinda agreed with her mom, like I am sorry, but I do. It's in my heart. It's something deep. Maybe she unconsciously criticizes me.
I am not sure how to feel about her sometimes. Her own mother called her "a high class bitch."
I would prefer that to what I'm getting. I get treated like I'm dirty, a peasant, gross, -- I have an infected tooth that broke while I was eating Marco's Pizza, and it hurts like a bitch. The lymph nodes are very swollen. Toothache. I already slept. Got a window unit a/c. People are going to be here to fix it tomorrow.
If she's so bad for me, why does vibin' with her feel so good?
I feel like something "owns" me. I don't feel in my body, or a part of this reality, or anything.
What gives? My stuff always gets messed up. "High class bitch"
Ugh, meds making me hungry. I can't stand this. I want the world to end. I'm fucking miserable.
