I want to reach out for help and support. But I'm scared of judgement.I was running away from my problems. Everything is crashing down. I was the type of person to cut corners. 

Oh no... I think Spotify just deleted all my liked songs... Ugh... 

I've been tormented by these voices and visions since I was 4. They were showing me semen and penis on tv. I was a kid. I am so fucking bored. I really wish I hadn't taken acid. There is nothing to do. So being asexual. I don't really like anyone. I am not attracted to most people. 

I read a book about "Walk ins" and I'm trying to get one so I don't have to be here anymore. You know what it is. My foot is stuck. My intuition is really good. And it often doesn't make sense in this reality. Ok my songs are back.

Trent Reznor sings we didn't give it a mouth so it could not complain. And the foot is deep and the mouth is wide. If they knew they were singing about me. They would stop. Right. 

Trying to act my age. I spend every day a lone. How can I grow? I read some woman hasn't left her house in eight years. 

I am surprised this Egyptian God hasn't killed me. I thought I was him. He can read my mind and it's just awful. I really thought I was him. But he appears to be a different person. Idk. Maybe it's part of Mkultra. I'm a waste of skin. I am not loved. I am an idea. But my mind has slowed to a hault on all these drugs, I am operating on pure instinct. 

These mkultra people or whatever they are are fucking pedos. They were showing me inappropriate things. They used to watch me in my room playing with my toys. They're being fucking pedos "deep down trauma hounds" send help. God send non mind reading angels to help me. Im miserable.