trigger warning: eating disorder, self harm, religious personality, religious family, Mkultra

[Personalities meeting each other and getting along, making plans for the rest of the month.]

Jamison gets noided out when he sees red. Which lots of things are red. Ketchup. The pot holders. Coke cans..I'm not sure what to do, maybe the host's vision is just poor, and red is stunning.

As a previous self harmer, I am just loving on myself right now because Jamison decided to come out today. Jamison rationed out food to Loka, and is getting to know Loka, our cat. He is very well liked. We have very little money because of Mkultra handlers lying to us and other stuff that's in the past, hopefully I won't be in the negative next month. My mom seems to vampire my energy. Jamison is a demon that is well loved among his friends and seemingly almost famous. He has a boyfriend. This boyfriend is also the husband of one of my female alters, but maybe they just prefer to be gay men.

Jamison is stepping up to the plate of managing what we do have until payday, and cooking responsibilities under Cassius's rule, who seems to be in the driver's seat all the time. El has been quiet lately, that's another dominant alter, or Set. They're nearly all men! There is a female child alter that cries for her mother a lot and says she's hungry a lot, too, and Cassius is trying to figure out what to do. He's offering her crackers, which was accepted. Should I tell my mom about her? Cassius is thinking about digging up some coloring books and trying to get the child alter to color, or at least find some crayons and draw.

We just discovered this, and my mom wants me off my Schizoaffective meds, which seemed to make all the personalities have a party in my mind and body by revolving doors. I'm trying to get a diagnosis on paper, but like, I know. They thought I was well, I don't have a psych appointment til 2 months from now. I really don't need one.Unless it;s to formally get help. John is calm now that Innie Somniac talked to us about him. If he damages the house, we all pay for it. If he disrespects america, we could get in big trouble.But..he's there. Maybe he was even drafted so it's not his fault. He is crushing on the neighbor so I use her as a trauma cushion for him. She bought us some candy that was gone way too soon. Orion also has the crush on the neighbor, Jamison is feeding and playing with the familiar and seeing his boyfriend which is an external spirit, listening to Cassius and getting ready to run the house for the rest of the month. Cassius is nurturing the child alter while helping her text mom. I struggled with anorexia and being too thin. Or never hungry. Now it's caught up with us. Mom still thinks we have a therapist even though we told her 300 times we have a psychiatrist, someone who prescribes pills, not a therapist, which is someone who talks to you, gets to know you, and helps you with talk therapy and she wants me to "get help" when the previous help [all my rx for schizo affective] caused this to emerge, which it was latently there and there isn't any help for this. I have been reporting it and nothing was done. *facepalm* My family literally prays for me to be normal. How offensive is that?! They sicken me, they really do.