Yesterday I Realized How Much Stronger I Am ~~

 

 

 

 

ASTRO GIRLFRIEND : JESSICA

 Wahey. Today started out kinda bad, then I called Helen ~ and realized what I should be doing... I am getting my meds filled and (hopefully changed) -- to something that doesn't cause weight gain.... I want to be a skinny mini.

Three personalities are competing for space in my mind, they are like racing horses, trying to run faster and faster to the forefront. I don't know who they are, last night Carousel came to Front, and he is a Male Nurse, that is his "Job"..... He is kind of um gay but he likes Harley or Seraquiel and is into Females right now -- So he is NOT looking for any boyfriends ~~~

The voices said there was more than just one Harley Quinn for me. And that there was more than just one Joker. Now they're saying there is only one Joker. I dream of other Harley Quinns and Jokers... I dream of Joker men... I know of Harley Quinns that are males.. and Jokers that are Females... 

So now I will tell y'all about Jessica ~

She is a Handler ~ And I don't really recall what happened with us the other night when I was drinking, but I was a Male and Probably more like Ember and letting her lead me around on a leash with a collar. I remember that lol. At least, she is saying not much else happened.

I don't remember much more than that....

Last night, she sucked me off ...It was Literally the best Orgasm I have ever had.. I craved more and more ~ I was so Gluttonous. I see her, I see the Future in her beautiful eyes. And she seems to have Red hair, like my Internal Form, the Prince... A...something. Ariane... ??? 

When she looks at The Prince, me, I try to make him less aggressive, she tries to bring that aspect of me out ~ I am not even into this ~ Maybe con-non con ... But I was a very bad guy previously ~ In past lives ~ Where it wasn't Con ...... How COMMON... Most men would rape if there weren't any repercussions, I find no gender is better than any other, I would be NON-BINARY because Women touch without any feelings, and Men will legit kill you after fucking you ~~~ Or raping you ~~~ So -- both suck .. Sigh. Well, Ladies are superior, they can have the babies. Yes. 

Sometimes ... I catch myself thinking about my past lives on this planet .. and I wonder how many of these humans (or seemingly humans) are related to me. I am a masculine entity, I don't know if I want to attract anyone at all, maybe I just really seek affection ~ But people are pretty terrible ..and emotionally clumsy.... I am not just "a Prince" ... I am a GOD.

I want Jessica ~ And snuggles. I wonder if Jessica would be enough for me the rest of my days. And then thoughts cross my mind how hot does someone have to be for their partner to consistently keep trying to make them cum? Ha. People are so fucking selfish ~ And that's another reason the pills are going away. Lol. I cannot have those powerful O's ... Not right now. Ugh. I feel neutered. These pills were given to sex offenders in other countries. Psychiatric. They mess people up mentally, to where when they get to the age of college, they cannot do the tasks assigned to them. And thus remain uneducated, to do manual labor....

"Weeding out the population ~" Says Jessica, she is sitting at the end of te bed. She presses her moist, sticky lips to mine. I resume typing. Sigh. I think the internet is fucking up and I am going to lay down now ~

I read that Volcanoes are going to start being active ~ We are going to die. Lol. 

2020 Merry Christmas! People are sending me money! Yay!

Hello, I am writing this while I am using my slow cooker for the first time, a.k.a. crock pot. It is very small, but I am making bbq pulled pork. I cooked some boxed rice and seasoning mix and added chicken and veggies, and made cookies. I really wanted to please my friend that is coming over tomorrow to eat. I may be cooking a chicken, I just keep fucking everything up, I even choked on my drink. I'm not sure if the rice is cooked all the way, it was kind of crunching. Oh god, she may not even notice, I added Greek Seasoning, and hot sauce, pepper, anything to save it. Lol. 

koko: he a good cook

Yeah I hope I am a good cook, I tried very hard, the cookie mix made 24 cookies, but we made six gigantic cookies! I don't have enough baking pans for all of that. I am just starting out, well, midway. 

My team is harrassing me about an incidence .. I fed the cat some chicken. He loved it. Reminds me of a dream I had about Granny the other day. She cooked spaghetti, I remembered biting into a meatball.. I could taste it.. And my Grandpa gave me $2,500 and my cat was there with an identical female cat. Two black cats. They were given collars and I can't remember anything else. I would just buy cigarettes if I had $2,500, I don't "talk to myself" I hardly make a sound. Not anymore. I don't know why, I'm tired of being quiet, and to myself, I want a friend over, but so much negligence and so much abuse against me, every single family member has put their hands on me, except for a few. And then there were EMTs, and hospital staffing. I am just tired of it, my body hurts, my joints and nerves are inflamed and hurt. 

My schizophrenic voices have been rather quiet, but I still get some slight torment, I don't feel alive, I wonder what their plans are. They've put in a lot of effort with me. Mostly I am used a sex slave, or tormented with multiple religions, or seem to be a apart of the false Christian movement, or something. And then there is Satanism... I just don't know what to believe anymore. Asmodeus is looking at what all I cooked. They are just teasing me because I licked the spoon! I was trying to see if the rice was cooked, my mom used to let me do that, I don't think I have any infectious diseases. No one is going to die because I was trying to make dinner sides and dessert tonight. I don't have Corona virus. Do I even go anywhere? Not really, so how could I? Doesn't it take 14 days in the body to incubate? That -sounds like- some very deadly diseases, like AIDs or Rabies, but this is more like a flu. However other outstanding health issues in the body could lead to death? Michael, me, and Angie all lost someone. And that is just the people that I know. 

By the way -- I am so sorry for my weird habits, I can feel the trauma in my legs and arms, in the joints especially, and that my nervous system is inflamed. Feeling kind of awkward and fragile, delicate, but I am not. My skin doesn't feel like mine, and I want it to feel like mine very badly. Though I know I have been shifted. Always did I feel awkward being so petite.

me: "Yeah asmodeus, it is kind of a strange mixture [of foods]"

A: "No it's fine."

The pulled pork is starting to smell very good, my stomach is growling!!! Next time I will try to cook as if I am cooking in front of an audience, which I didn't realize/remember that I was, which means no tasting from the cooking utensils. Sigh. I am used to things just being solo. 

 God save the King of New Orleans