Joker programming, I am not sure what it really is, but I may, in fact, be THE JOKER, and I'm sitting here realizing that Harley, if we are actually real people, has hurt me a lot. I am poisoned from drugs that we took together, and she is dead. Killed herself. I don't have any photos of her, but out of these fashion magazines or whatever, there was a model that looked like her and I ripped it out and put it on my wall with a picture of a cemetary. There is fake Halloween blood on a mirror, as Thoth told me to make a Shrine for her. Sigh, if Only she knew how much I had loved her, but my mind is fractured, my personality seems larger than life, but my mind is slipping away.
"insanity is caused by restriction of the brain and the mind"
Everyone knows the Joker was crazy.
But I remember it was said she was crazier than him and more fearless. Unfortunately, for me, the bad stuff happens to me, and she makes bad stuff to happen to other people. I wonder if my actions in the past poisoned her, but I did care. A lot of things tormented my mind, tried to hurt it. I was neglected, then abused, maybe I deserved it because of the way I treated my family. I just wanted to use drugs.... I was trying to "get away" from them.. figuratively and literally.... to do the drugs, with Harley, or whomever she is ... I don't know, she's a girl whatever I am... and I'm being punished and enslaved. Now they seem to avoid me unless necessary, also, the isolation, has caused me to go mute. My cat, is also, mute. So it's very quiet in here, except for the music, because my mind bothers me, I'm not sure if it's guilt or personal torment, as it appears I am in Hell.
I am just feeling evil and like I want to be in the dark. I want some attention though, a lover, maybe, but I am not sure if I am a guy or a girl.
